The sun drove through the window like a large and clumsy SUV. Manos groaned and wished he had not stayed up so late reading Jem and the Holograms slash. The disappointment he felt was keen at the lack of cohesive story or character continuity. He had eventually blacked out from the sheer cretinous plotline and deficient sex scenes.
Now, he knew he must decide what to do with his life. Should he follow his poor, dead mother's dearest wish for him and become the next world-famous castrati? Or should he allow his life to be spent wondering about Eleni - Ah, Eleni! Eleni and her Brand New Evil(tm) self! Eleni and the mysterious ring of teeth deep within her nether regions! Eleni and her strange resemblance to...but no. He dared not finish that thought! It would be his undoing!
His father would sob like a small, whiny bitch if he knew.
It was his deepest shame, his strangest urge. Well, the strangest urge that had nothing to do with the cast of Buffy, three rolls of duct tape and several bottles of icy-hot. And some wool diapers.
Manos knew that he must resist his own fell thoughts, his dark desires. It would be better, far better, to hum a cheery tune and pretend nothing was wrong. Halfway through the Sesame Street theme, however, he began to lose control. He thought of the way Sergei's awful mustache flapped in the slightest breeze. How his eyes glinted like two small oilslicks when he was deep in thought, which was usually, because Sergei was always thinking. It was really irritating, actually. He never noticed anything! It was "Blah-blah evil" this, and "Yak-yak plot to sell the crown of the Princess of West Belgium" that. How unfeeling, and yet how intriguing. By the end of his brave attempt to sing one more round of the theme to Sesame Street, Manos was drowning in a pool of his own tears, mucus, and urine.
Goddamnit, he'd pissed himself again.
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