Chapter 2: Electric Chair Boogaloo.

I was in prison, and took the chance to record my thoughts in my diary.

"Dear diary, I have been removed to the Deerfield State Penitentiary, whereupon I have been studying the curious local culture of the residents. In their show of gratitude to me, they have conferred upon me the title of 'Gimp', with all the rights and privileges associated. My flatmate is Brunhilda. I asked her which country she might be Crown Princess of, and although I have never heard of Compton, I am sure it is a most delightful land of whimsy.

"Brunhilda was kind enough to share with me something her people call 'smack'. 'Tis a wonderful vegetable, and I must ask our Minister of Agriculture how we might go about cultivating it when and if I ever return to my native land.

I must go now, for we are held to the most grueling of schedules here. We awake at dawn for sudsy showering, and that is followed in quick succession by Group Exercise, which mostly involves me assisting in temporarily holding sticks for the other residents, followed by more showering, lunch, showering again, and then being hosed down by the warden. I have never felt so clean and yet so strangely dirty before. Yours, Katrina."

Eleni meanwhile made herself at home at Manos' lodge. Manos spurned her offers of love, but the kindly bellhop Torgo was most helpful in ferrying her baggage to and from her carriage. Upon her taking leave, Manos happened to read her inscription in the hotel guestbook. "Dear Manos," it began. "Thank you for the wonderful time, even though you did spurn my advances and drive me to a life of Pure Evil(tm). I took the light bulbs and towels as souvenirs, and I sincerely hope you don't mind. Love, Eleni."

Manos cried. She may have taken the towels, but she also stole his heart.

The island of Sifnos- with its rugged good looks, handsome tourist destinations, and near-complete lack of lepers- was an ideal location for the vacation home of Sergei Sergenstein. In the years since he had amassed his fortune through investments in International Miscellaneous, Inc., he had spent much time improving his home and building it into a massive fortress complete with a Death Ray on the roof. He would often return here when business allowed, and after merging International Miscellaneous with Allied Terrorism and Midwifing, he now found himself once again seeking solace here. But his solace would soon be interrupted- by an interruption!

Sergei sat down at his computer, feeling no pressure to minimize the porno page he had up, seeing as how he was expecting no company (save for perhaps Jack Daniels). He lazily typed an address into his browser, bringing up a particular auction on eBay. "Ah, yes... Mwa ha ha ha ha," he cackled, stopping to notice his reflection on the monitor and adjust his fake mustache. "Katrina's crown will fetch a royal price indeed!" After assuring himself of this, he went into the kitchen and made dinner, which consisted of a bowl of Count Chocula soaked in whiskey and a half a turnip, which was an ancient Sifnosian folk remedy for eating a bowl of Count Chocula soaked in whiskey.